wa123

When we last left Comedy Millionaire, Jack Black and Dennis Leary had $125,000 for their respective charities. Then time expired. That leaves Bill Maher, Kevin Nealon, Robin Quivers & Kathy Griffin to try this fastest finger question: Put these people-in-the-news in order by their year of birth, starting with the earliest. A) Kato Kaelin Anna Nicole Smith C) Tammy Faye Bakker D) Monica Lewinsky CABD is the correct order. Two right answers, with Bill Maher being exactly 4 seconds faster than Robin Quivers. Bill is entering his 8th year as the host of Politically Incorrect. Regis points out that Robin was a Celebrity Jeopardy! champion with a chuckle. Bill is playing for The Amanda Foundation , which helps pets who are on death row at shelters. For $100: According to a popular _expression_, a person who knows a subect ver well, knows it how? C) Inside out For $200: What do people typically do at a rave? Dance For $300: PArticipants in what sport attempt to avoid bunkers? A) Golf Not D) Draft dodging. For $500: In 1995, what celebrity gave David Letterman a surprise birthday present by flashing him? Drew Barrymore Not C) Bea Arthur *SHUDDER* or D) Richard Simmons *DOUBLE SHUDDER*.   For $1000: Salinity is the measure of what in the water? A) Lead         Carbon C) Chlorine     D) Salt D) Salt. (ad break) Clip from Politically Incorrect. That 5 seconds has doubled the total time I've spent watching the show. Bill's single, and seems to love the bachelor life. I can do whatever I want whenever I want For $2000: In 2000, Melissa Etheridge revelaled that the father of her children is what rock singer? A) Joe Cocker           David Crosby Gregg Allman         D) Elton John Just the person whose drug-addled genetic line I want to be propogated - David Crosby. For $4000: Steven Spielberg collaborated with what director to make the 2001 film A.I. Artificial Intelligence ? A) Stanley Kubrick               Tim Burton C) Martin Scorsese              D) James Cameron A) Kubrick. For $8000: By definition, to obfuscate means to do what? A) Imagine               Anger C) Confuse              D) Make jealous C) Confuse. For $16000: What is the distance referred to in the term 20/20 version? A) 20 inches             20 feet C) 20 yards             D) 20 miles 20 feet, with 3 feet from the remaining celebs helping to prompt Bill. For $32,000: Mount Sinai is located in what country? A) Egypt         Turkey C) Greece       D) Jordan Everybody seems to think it's Egypt. I know Mr. Ararat is in Turkey, but that's not the question being asked . Nobody _object_s to Egypt as his final answer. . . . And any _object_ion should have been overruled. It was Egypt. For $64,000: In July 2001, what popular TV and phone psychic's hotline was sued by the state of Missouri for fraud? A) Madame Tanya         Evangeline C) Mother Denise        D) Miss Cleo Bill doesn't know, because he doesn't watch crud like that . Bill will hope the audience enjoys their crud. 3-2-2-93. Bill will go along with that sizable percentage. The cards! They don't lie! And neither did the audience. (ad break) Clip from a Bill Maher comedy special. For $125,000: Used by Pueblo Indians for ceremonies, a kiva is what type of structure? A) Underground chamber           Cliff dwelling C) Mud hut                      D) Stone pillar Bill decides to PAF, and will phone PI producer Scott Carter. It takes Bill 22 seconds to read and repeat the question. He's 75% positive it's a mud hut. Bill's 100 percent sure that 'mud hut' is his final answer. Seeing as this was one word, I decided against using google, and decided instead on Dictionary.com. It gave the answer: An underground or partly underground chamber in a Pueblo village, used by the men especially for ceremonies or councils. Bill leaves with 32K. Fastest Finger: Put these classic infomercial products in alphabetical order. A) Ginsu Knife Rotato C) Thigh Master D) Pocket Fisherman. ADBC. My personal favourite, the Tom Vu Real Estate Seminar wasn't on this list. Kathy Griffin was the only one with the right answer. 10.33 is her time. I'll preface her run in the hotseat by stating that if I had the power to push a button and zap one celebrity off the face off the earth, Kathy Griffin would be very high on my final list. I will be actively cheering against this contestant, despite the fact it's for charity. But I'd still choose Celine Dion to zap. (ad break) Kathy recently got married to some poor guy who I wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley. <Gorilla MonsoonOr a well lit alley for that matter</Gorilla Monsoon). Her charity is something called V-Day. I don't know anything about it, since doing so would actually force me to listed to Kathy for several seconds. For $100: What phrase is often used to describe a person who is too old for something? A) Over the hill. For $200: After taking a long and difficult test, a student often says my brain is' what? C) Fried For $300: By definition, a civil engineer designs which of the following? C) Highways Not D) Very polite engines. for $500: C-note is slang for what denomination of US currency? C) $100. For $1,000: Which of these words does not form an English word when the suffix 'ster' is added to it? A) Mob           Young C) Trick        D) Push It's so easy. Go ahead, Regis. What else you got, smart guy? - Kathy. I wonder if it's too late for me to get a Las Vegas Outlaws jersey with Me Hate Kathy Griffin on the back of it. For $2,000: Jiminy Glick, celebrity interviewer, is a character created by what comic actor? A) Will Ferrell         Martin Short C) John Leguizamo       D) Marlon Brando A former celebrity contestant himself - Martin Short. For $4,000: Where would you normally go in order to get French Tips ? A) Nail salon           Bakery C) Furniture store      D) Shoe-repair shop Robin prompts Kathy to select A) nail salon. Sadly, that's the right answer. For $8,000: Burt Ward's 1995 autobiography, sub_title_d My Life In Tights recounts his career playing what tv character? A) Superman             Robin C) Flash Gordon         D) Captain America Robin. (ad break) A clip of Kathy's stand-up is shown. She talks about something, but I can't read lips when the fast forward button is down. For $16,000: What two identically-named cities lie on opposite sides of the Missouri-Kansas border? A) Wichita               St. Louis C) Springfield          D) Kansas City The celebs tell her it's Kansas City, but that doesn't stop her from babbling. I'm now looking forward to the 20-minute Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley interview on RAW tonight. For $32,000: In the 1975 movie The Rocky Horror Picture Show what are the names of the stranded young couple? A) David & Gloria           Brad & Janet C) Ted & Sally                      D) Joseph & Mary Brad & Janet. She's got her 32K, now please let her bomb out on this next question. For $64,000: In the US, hat size is roughly measured by dividing your head's circumfrence in inches by what? A) Pi           2 C) 7            D) 10 Kathy starts complaining about how this is a question that real people have on the show. Seeing how few real people shows there have been lately, it's difficult to recall. She continues to talk about this, asking Regis about his hat size. It's 7 1/4. She thinks this will help her. To paraphrase Dennis Leary. Bring me the head of Kathy Griffin! I want to drink beer out of her empty head! I want to have a Kathy Griffin skull keg party at my apartment! More nonsensical babbling. My kingdom for a sniper. She's going to the audience. Please let them think Regis' head is 72.50 inches around. 21-76-1-2. Damn! She goes with the audience. She's wrong. She's gone. Good fucking riddance. It was pi. Watching and listening to Kathy puzzle over that question made me truly pity all the people in the studio audience, the staff that didn't have the opportunity to turn over to The Weather Network. But most of all, I have pity for the poor bastard that had to do the closed captioning for this. Fastest Finger: Put these historic figures in order by their year of birth, starting with the earliest. A) Winston Churchill     Abraham Lincoln C) Fidel Castro D) Pauly Shore BACD. Both get the answer right. And it is Kevin Nealon, with his time of 7.59 that gives him to coveted Ray Romano Award for this edition of celebrity millionaire. 6.93 was Robin Quivers' time. Even her annoying laugh is like the song of the siren compared to Kathy Griffin. I prefer the former by the way. It has the alluring promise of death at the end. (ad break) Robin is a former Air Force nurse, which lead into her work in radio. She met Howard by accident in Washington, DC. She's playing for the Child Abuse Prevention Program. It's _base_d in New York. For $100: A person' neighborhood is often described as his what? Neck of the woods For $200: According to the slogan for The National Enquirer what kind of minds want to know? Inquiring Not D) Man has pumpkin head! That's more of a Weekly World News thing anyway. For $300: Which of these drinks tastes most like V8 juice? A) Tomato juice For $500: The illusion of a pool of water in the desert is an example of what? Mirage For $1,000: Which of these games usually involves more than 2 p_layer_s? A) Checkers             Chess C) Tic-tac-toe          D) Charades D) Charades *****AH-WOOOOOO!*****