wa123

Over the past few days I've read a SciFi novel that is so bad that I feel the need to share my review of it with the world. It's an ugly little book called Hominids by one Robert J. Sawyer. In the end if stupid people want to read stupid books no big deal, but I am appalled that it is apparently a candidate for the 2003 Nebula Award. The presence of this book on any lists with SciFi books of real substance is unforgivable and having it actually win any awards would be a sure indication of a great decline in the genre. What's wrong with Hominids? First, the appalling the state of the science and second, the appalling state of the fiction. Ultimately I got a hernia laughing at how badly the thin, unoriginal story was told. Imagine Planet of the Apes written as badly as possible by Michael Crichton – it's worse. The science. Sawyer pads the front of the book with two pages of acknowledgements, a slew of Ph.D.'s first. Then five pages of references listed at the end. A transparent attempt to make it appear as if he's done eons of research for the book? Um yes. When you read the book however you realize that all of the Neanderthal paleontology in the book could be obtained from an evening surfing the web. Ultimately it wouldn't have mattered if Sawyer could have maintained any level of scientific credibility within his story, but sadly he does not and appears to be nothing more than a layman who is incapable of any real scientific thought himself. The excess padding only serves to reinforce Hominid's actual lack of any creative scientific thought beyond it's plagiarism of Planet of the Apes. Then we get to the science within the novel. Sawyer's explanation of the existence of the parallel universes is so abysmal that it becomes laughable. Particularly hysterical is his de_script_ion of the Neanderthal from the parallel universe simply climbingthrough the portal back to his own universe. This is truly Jetson's SciFi and while I was laughing I was also appalled that anyone could actually consider this novel a serious work of science fiction. His depiction of an evolved Neanderthal culture _base_d on current paleontology evidence and theories is the grand attempt at science here though. This could have been something important but instead it's truly horrific to read through the cumbersome prose as Sawyer regurgitates simple little factoids about Neanderthals and randomly incorporates them into this work without any additional insight. The discussion regarding the large nostrils is a perfect example, you'll have to read it yourself to believe it but aren't we lucky that a real Neanderthal came to us to solve this great mystery once and for all? The story. A fundamental theme of Hominids is that Neanderthals are a superior species and in a parallel universe they have developed a superior society. A society in which two Neanderthals are working together, one disappears in their joint experiment, and the other is immediately accused of murder _base_d on no evidence and forced to defend himself. Um really? That's some superior culture there oh yes. This half of the main story line is a complete bust as we are forced to endure Sawyer's thoroughly uneducated attempt at an allegedly superior system of justice at work and further details of society and culture in the Neanderthal universe are remarkable only by their absence. The other half of the story follows what happens to the Neanderthal who winds up in our universe. Ala The Jetson's level science of the book this Neanderthal has a device that translates English to Neanderthal so he can conveniently converse in English almost immediately and the Neanderthal somehow manages to stay with his small group of human scientists rather than be taken away by the government. They then discuss differences in their worlds for some 200 droll pages as we get to learn things like Neanderthals are bisexual and their men like to fondle each others' privates. This can all be quite funny entirely at Mr. Sawyer's expense, providing what little entertainment can be gleaned from Hominids. Subplots range from the comical to the bizarre. The main human female scientist gets raped. Unfortunately this insensitively over-depicted portrayal never makes any sense within the context of the rest of the story and baffled me entirely. I can only conclude that he was after some shock value. Another of the female humans is Louise Benoit, a postdoc of some sort. All we learn about her is that she wears lacy underwear, has great lips and long legs and a sexy French Canadian accent. Fortunately for one of the first men to meet her in the story, she is remarkably unattached as all beautiful women are and quickly winds up in his bed. Oh did I mention that completely out of nowhere she is the one who announces that the Neanderthal has come from a parallel universe? Very funny stuff indeed. The characters are flat and without any interesting details whatsoever. They all speak in the same voice despite Sawyer's amateurish attempt to have the Neanderthal's speech seem different by having them speak without contractions for example. There is nothing more to say about the characters, you will have as little interest in them at the end of the book as you did at the beginning. Finally Mr. Sawyer's prose and grammar. I mentally began referring to him as Mr. Comma as I waded through in the end what is at least hundreds of extraneous commas in the book. Thankfully he attempts nothing new in the prose department, sticking to the tried and true formula of writing for readers with a seventh grade education. He really likes the word quantum. Too bad that despite pages of conjecture he still seems to have no idea what it means in a scientific context. In fact at no point did I get the feeling he is even remotely competent at discussing science, and he certainly is no great author with his barely passable prose. All that Mr. Sawyer seems to do well is self-promotion in fact (I dare you to go to sfwriter.com) and in the end I certainly didn't feel like I gained anything from the book other than an excellent example on how not to write an intelligent and meaningful novel. Give this one a big miss.

Give this one a big miss. As always, the problem is that a book gets interesting when someone writes a long rant about it. If you really want that nobody read the book, either keep quiet or write a short derisive remark about it. Karl M. Syring

seyefeye wrote on 3 Apr 2003 16:02:53 -0800: <snipped for lenght Give this one a big miss. As always, the problem is that a book gets interesting when someone writes a long rant about it. If you really want that nobody read the book, either keep quiet or write a short derisive remark about it. I read it serialized in Analog. I thought it sucked.

  I read it serialized in Analog. I thought it sucked. The sequel is worse.         Paul

seyefeye wrote on 3 Apr 2003 16:02:53 -0800: <snipped for lenght Give this one a big miss. As always, the problem is that a book gets interesting when someone writes a long rant about it. If you really want that nobody read the book, either keep quiet or write a short derisive remark about it. Karl M. Syring That's definitely not the effect it had on me! I wouldn't even pick it up to see if I thought seyefeye were wrong: he (?) wrote convincingly enough for me that it seems clear to me this is a book I'd not be interested in reading. You're right that sometimes the result of a bad write-up produces unintended results, but for me that only happens if the person seems smart and rational and describes a novel which I can see I'd like, usually for the reasons the reader disliked it. This one sounds like a dog.